attack of the bug

this has nothing to do with food. just a fair warning.

last night, my husband and i went on a 9 o'clock frozen custard run. i mean....can you blame us. anyway, so the adventure begins AFTER the eating of the frozen custard. we pulled in to our condo and we got out and walked up to our door. all of a sudden 3 huge giant bee/lobster creatures began attacking us. literally. they swarmed around us with these awful screeching noise and starting squirting this liquid stuff all over ryan. we both RAN down the sidewalk and screamed things like "OMYGOSH (and not in the sexy usher way), and WHAT THE CRAP.

so we stood there about 50 feet away and watched these mammoth creatures until they calmed down. when they landed on the wall and stopped screeching ryan and i made a run for it in the house. that got them all upset again. but, this time we were too fast. we made it inside before they could hit us again.

needless to say ryan and i were traumatized. but, really the moral of this story is that some people really like bugs and have these particular creatures as a fun little plastic bug on their key chains. yes. last night we did our research and found out these beasts are called "cicadas." i cringe at the name. they live under the earth for decades and then "emerge" every few years.

but, what is really weird is that today i found TIME articles describing the "amazingness" of the cicada. i also found a website of a guy who loved cicadas so much that he bought plastic renderings of these evil bugs to use as a key chain. he so creatively posted a picture of the package it came in, which i placed at the beginning of this entry.

so, things we have learned:

1. God created a creature named a cicada.

2. they live in the ground then emerge and attack you and scream and squirt you with a nasty substance.

3. some weirdos actually LIKE these bugs. i will never associate with them. now when i meet people i will ask them "hi. what's your name? where are you from? do you have a cicada key chain?"

4. who knew that we lived in the amazon?